So I’m bisexual. Seems simple enough – I’m attracted to men and women. But being bisexual can get kind of complicated sometimes.
Why? Let me tell you.
1. People don’t believe you when you say you’re bisexual.
One of the first times I came out was when I was drunk at a party. The guy actually didn’t believe me, and so he said “You’re just feeling more flirty and cuddly right now.” So I said, “No, I legitimately am bisexual. Text me tomorrow morning and I’ll say the same thing.” And he was like “Oh, okay, cool.” And then we started talking about doctors for some reason. I know this happens too when people say bisexuality is just a phase (like being “bicurious”), or just a stepping stone to coming out as a lesbian, but I haven’t come out to enough people to have any personal experience with this.
2. People assume you are attracted to them.
In contrast to the guy from above, a lot of my girl friends sometimes thought I was bisexual (this was even before I figured it out myself) because I’m super cuddly with them, so I haven’t come out to them yet, since I’m afraid they’ll assume my cuddliness means I’m attracted to them. No, it just means you’re my friend and I cuddle with my friends. Just because I am attracted to some people of your gender does not mean I’m attracted to you. Yes, I think many of my friends are pretty and I compliment them on that. That does not mean I’m attracted to them. I guess this whole issue is a problem for all queers, not just bisexuals.
3. Apparently I’m not a real bisexual because I haven’t kissed/dated/had sex with a girl.
Just because I haven’t been with a girl doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to them. Straight people, you know you liked people of the opposite gender before you kissed/dated/had sex with one of them, right? It just so happens that my partner, who I love very much, is male. That doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to women.
UPDATE: I finally made out with a girl. I proposed the idea by saying “I like your face. Can I make out with your face?” (I already knew she was interested in me.) I was pretty drunk, hence me asking her super awkwardly.
4. People assume you’re a slut.
Well first of all, that’s slut shaming, and that’s bad. It’s perfectly okay to be a “slut” if you want to be. If your sex life isn’t hurting anyone else, why should they shame you for it?
Secondly, just because I have more options available for sex doesn’t mean I’m going to take all of them. Actually, I’m not going to take any of them. Unless they’re with my boyfriend, since he’s awesome. (UPDATE: My boyfriend is actually okay with the idea of me having sex with other people with vaginas, so I might take advantage of that. I had the opportunity once before, with the girl I mentioned in #3, but I only found her kind of attractive so I didn’t do it.)
Some studies suggest that bisexuals tend to have a higher sex drive. This does not mean they all have sex with many different people, but that bisexuals tend to be a bit hornier than everyone else.
So those are some of my thoughts about my bisexuality. Let me know what you think; are you bisexual? Do you have these same issues? Anything else you’d like to say? Leave a comment below!